MODERN FAMILY

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family

[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_text_separator title=”THE GROWN UPS”][vc_row_inner][vc_column_inner width=”1/3″][vc_single_image image=”32773″ img_size=”340×464″ alignment=”center”][vc_text_separator title=”RJ · 31″][vc_column_text]

Dad. Ralf. “Papa.”

Combat vet.
Obsessed with the name “Giles.”
Chronic hour-long shit-taker.
Epic hug-giver.
Nicholas Sparks and bubble bath lover. Seriously.
History major.

What he wanted to be when he grew up: A dad.
What he is: A dad.
Life goal: Achieved.

Most notable accomplishment: Surviving Y2K.

First job: Cashier, Boston Market.
Current job: Logistics, Target.

[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][vc_column_inner width=”1/3″][vc_single_image image=”32772″ img_size=”large” alignment=”center”][vc_text_separator title=”KELSEY · 30″][vc_column_text]Mom. Kels. Wifey.

Lifelong contrarian and occasional rule-breaker.
Low (no) tolerance for bullshit.
Voracious reader and habitual recycler.
Watermelon mojito smoothie lover.
Belongs to a members only club (Costco).
Psychology major, sociology minor.

Talents:  Overcommitting, obsessing over everything unaffordable, getting shit done.

Hobbies: Generally not giving a fuck and spending more money than necessary.

First job: Cashier, Dollar Tree.
Current job: Social media + communications, AUSA.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][vc_column_inner width=”1/3″][vc_single_image image=”32814″ img_size=”340×464″ alignment=”center”][vc_text_separator title=”SHANNON · 26″][vc_column_text]

Wifey. Babe. Schnukums. (Never, ever “Shan.”)

Former soccer and rugby player.
Current CrossFitter and coach.
Eats trail mix like it’s her job.
World crime fighter.
Virginia’s worst driver.
Criminal justice undergrad, cybersecurity grad.

Awesome at: Picking up heavy stuff, checking herself out in every mirror, twitching while sleeping.

Fears: Clowns, dolls, being in a parking garage or the metro when an earthquake hits.

First job: Camp counselor, Prince William County.
Current job: [redacted], federal government.

[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_text_separator title=”THE NOT GROWN UPS”][vc_row_inner][vc_column_inner width=”1/3″][vc_single_image image=”39762″ img_size=”340×464″ alignment=”center”][vc_text_separator title=”BRISEIS · 11″][vc_column_text]Bri. Bri-Bri. Boo.

Proud tweenager.
Serial snuggler.
Top-knot queen.
German enthusiast.
6th grader.

Spirit animal: Watermelon pop rocks.

Superpower: Sleeping through the end of the world.

Favorite celebrity: Taylor Swift.

Wants to be when she grows up: A soccer player.

More:  /category/family/briseis[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][vc_column_inner width=”1/3″][vc_single_image image=”39764″ img_size=”340×464″ alignment=”center”][vc_text_separator title=”EMMA · 6″][vc_column_text]Emma-bemma. Sweetie. Princess.

Habitual princess dress wearer.
Pro Baby Alive doctor.
Lover of all things pink.
Competitive coloring book colorer.
Steals her mom’s money.
Fashion icon.
1st grader.

Life goal: See the unicorns.

Favorite song: “The color song” in Spanish.

Favorite gummy bear color: Clear.

Wants to be when she grows up: A police officer.

More: /category/family/emma[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][vc_column_inner width=”1/3″][vc_single_image image=”39761″ img_size=”full” alignment=”center”][vc_text_separator title=”MADDEN · 4″][vc_column_text]Maddentonian. Twinkle toes. Bubby. Dude. Son.

So hard-headed he once dented the wall with it.
Insists on wearing his underwear backward.
Prefers to never wear shirts and always wear shorts.
Invented a language.
Despises things that are “too fancy.”
Preschooler.

Fame to claim: Cutest human ever.

Hobbies: Chewing gum, doing burpees, farting.

Loves to say: Shit, shockalocka, I don’t know.

Wants to be when he grows up: A lifeguard.

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